On Saturday afternoon at convention, I attended the workshop entitled
"The 3 Most Important Things to Teach Kids"
Despite the fact that I have read countless books on similar subjects, been to workshops and listened to many MOPS speakers talk about it, I am always very attracted to anything that looks like it might simplify or at least summarize childrearing! Maybe the idea of only having to really focus on 3 things appealed to me because how badly can you mess up a list of 3 things…. Well let me tell you. It is possible!!!
This workshop was given by David and Kelli Pritchard, who are the parents of 8 kids and foster parents to many more. This encouraged me because these people have some serious experience with raising children. With my measly 2 kids, I should be able to learn a lot.
So here is the short version: The 3 most important things to teach your child are:
- to love God
- to obey you, and
- self-control
By focusing on these 3 things you will raise a family that draws others to Christ.
As I reflected on my own friends and their families, I realized that of the families that I see regularly, the ones who really do draw others to Christ are the ones who teach these 3 very important things. Without even realizing it, they focus on what is necessary
Some of my biggest takeaways from their talk were:
- Read the Bible together.
- Pray in front of the kids.
- Do family devotions.
- Mention how things really convicts you or what you need to work on.
Lead Spiritually by:
- Modeling what you want from your children, especially self-control.
- Speaking highly of your husband in front of your kids.
- Share kid stories with your husband before sharing them with anyone else.
Train away from the moment. If your child doesn’t do something that he should (for example not looking people in the eye when speaking to them), apologize to the other person on your child’s behalf and tell them “we’re working on this”. Discuss it with your child one on one afterwards.
When diffusing fights, put the focus on the person not the thing. It is extremely powerful to say things like “Your brother is way more important than this toy.”
When they don’t ask nicely for things, wait 5 minutes before giving them what they want.
Teach your kids to not be afraid because God is in charge.
Teach them to respect God’s opinion of you.
Bless your kids! --- Catch them doing something good, especially something related to their character and point it out. There is affirming power in statements like “You are a good brother. You are a good man. You will be a good husband.”
The foundation of teaching them to obey you is “You listen to us because God said so.”
Use a calm gentle voice.
Instruct them repeatedly and always away from the moment.
Make sure there are consequences the very first time.
It’s not too late to change the rules but be upfront about it. Tell them: “We are sorry. We didn’t do it right before. We have new rules now. Your life as you know it is over until you start to behave.”
Remember, you get what you parent!!!
